Two Black guys are walking down the road when they see a shop sign that says “Turn Yourself White for a £1″.
The First black guy walks in with a quid and turns himself white.
The Second Black guy walks into the shop but realises he’s only got 99p, he goes up to his mate and asks him
“Hey can you lend me a penny?”
His mate replies “Fuck off you black cunt”.
I was watching a documentary about the million man march last night.
It’s amazing when you think that 1,100,000 blacks arrived in Washington that day.
It’s even more amazing when you realise that only three of them missed work because of it.
Why are there a lot of black, single people out there?
Research proves that most of us find our partner in the workplace.
A blond cop stops a blond motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home officer.”
The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?” The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, “All I have is this picture of myself.” The cop says, “Let me see it, then.” So the blond motorist gives the mirror to the blond cop, who looks at it, and replies, “Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You can go now.”
How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around.
A blond went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blond if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
A blond was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.
The policeman walks up to the blond and says “Excuse ma’am, could I please see your driving license and registration.”
The blond looks at the policeman angrily and says “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blond replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away.”
Sist
The boss, feeling very sorry suggests to the young girl, “Why don’t you go home for the day…we aren’t terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax.”
Sally very calmly states, “No I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. “If you need anything just let me know” says the boss.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.
He rushes over an asks, “What’s the matter now? Are you going to be okay?”
Sally breaks down in tears. “I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!”
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blonds in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blonds have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do SMART Blonds and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blonds always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
There was a bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world’ and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world’ and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think…’ and it sucked her in.