What should you do if you’re walking in the snow and come across an unconscious, naked girl who looks like shes been raped?
Check your bearings; you’re going in circles.
Archive for July, 2009
Circles
Monday, July 20th, 2009Rape Advice Line
Monday, July 20th, 2009I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.
Unfortunately, it’s only for victims.
Gym
Monday, July 20th, 2009I go to the gym a lot, It makes it so much easier to get the girls. The last girl I raped didn’t stand a chance.
The Mona Lisa
Sunday, July 19th, 2009I visited the Louvre art gallery in France last week.
I asked if it was okay to take a picture and they said it was.
I must say, the Mona Lisa looks pretty damn good on my living room wall.
First mistake
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009I recently came out to my best friend and told him I was gay.
He turned his back on me… That was his first mistake.
Online
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009My sister talks about sex online with people she doesn’t know.
She thinks 
Good sh*t
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009You know it was a good shit when you come back and your screensaver’s on.
Hereditary
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009They say Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
Evil Woman’s Revenge
Tuesday, July 14th, 2009A sexy woman went to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She then seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
‘Are you the manager?’ she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
‘Actually, no,’ he replied.
‘Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,’ she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
‘I’m afraid I can’t,’ breathed the bartender. ‘Is there anything I can do?’
‘Yes. I need for you to give him a message,’ she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender’s lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth allowing him to suck them gently.
‘What should I tell him?’ the bartender managed to say.
She whispered, ‘Tell him there’s no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.’
The Blond Travelor
Monday, July 13th, 2009An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blond stewardess.
The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.
“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”
The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she cried, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says, ‘Do Not Disturb’!”