What should you do if you’re walking in the snow and come across an unconscious, naked girl who looks like shes been raped?
Check your bearings; you’re going in circles.
Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category
Circles
Monday, July 20th, 2009Rape Advice Line
Monday, July 20th, 2009I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.
Unfortunately, it’s only for victims.
Gym
Monday, July 20th, 2009I go to the gym a lot, It makes it so much easier to get the girls. The last girl I raped didn’t stand a chance.
West Virginia
Monday, July 13th, 2009A farmer in West Virginia and his wife were lying in bed one evening, she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page and says to her, “Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?”
She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, “Oh yeah? Prove it.”
He frowns for a moment, then says, “O.K.” He then gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.
About half an hour later he returns all tired and sweaty and says, “Well, I’m sure the cow and sheep didn’t, but the way that pig squealed, it’s hard to tell.”
Peanut Problem
Monday, July 13th, 2009One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He’d toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter’s date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father’s nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat .
Once he was gone the mother turned to the father. The mother said, “That’s wonderful. Isn’t he smart? What do you think he’s going to be when he grows older?” The father replied, “According to the smell of his fingers,… our son in-law!”
The Mix Up
Monday, July 13th, 2009A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he went to Nordstrom’s and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.
Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
“I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!
All my love.
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.
Gang rape
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009Statistically… 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.